Two Monkeys are Better Than One: ConDRAGulations!!!!!

That right there is a beautiful woman. I don't care if she has a penis. She is a gorgeous woman and I am proud to say I've thought so since the late '80s when her single 'Supermodel' came out. I loved that song when I was 10 and I love it now at 31.

With many thanks to my friends M, R, C, and J, I am hooked on RuPaul's Drag Race. I watched a few episodes with this motley crew over at M's house last weekend and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Drag Race makes me want to get a better cable package so I can watch Logo. And there I go outing myself as a techtard. I think I'm the only person in the world anymore who watches television in real time when a program is actually being broadcast. I'm afraid of DVR - it will make me even more disinclined to get writing done.

I love Drag Race like I haven't loved a reality show since the first two seasons of Apprentice (Omarosa was the biggest bitch ever! I still can't believe she screwed Kwame over like that!). I am strangely drawn to drag queens and would probably leave my family on Christmas morning to go to a drag show if the opportunity presented itself. They're so pretty - even the plus sized campy ones. But the pretty is a weird kind of pretty. Even the ones who 'pass', the ones I would never be able to identify as men in their makeup, have a certain exotic quality to them. A little bit of androgyny in the manner of David Bowie or Tilda Swinton (Dr. M., if you read this, I'm not macking your woman - just stating the fact of her beauty). Drag kings are also beautiful. There's something really amazing about a woman who can rock a suit - and there's that tiny bit of androgyny, no matter how well the king passes.

Anyway, Drag Race is great. It has all the torrid drama of every other reality show, maybe even amped up a bit with more than a dash of catty thrown in. But there's still a sense of camaraderie, no matter how much hissing and clawing goes on. The queens on Drag Race are like family - they can beat on each other all they want but god help anyone outside of this circle who antagonizes them. I like that.

I also like that they're ladies. I'm a lady too, but not a girly lady. I don't own any dresses and I've never been comfortable in heels. These queens are more comfortable with their bodies in costume than I will ever be with mine in reality. They can afford to be catty and bitchy, because damn, they look good and they know it. I don't know many biological women who could pull off so much make up and glitter.

My reality show predictions are never very accurate because I base judgment on talent and skill as opposed to who makes for the best television. But right now, these are my picks for Drag Race: