|Prof. X digs chicks with bad teeth. That's why he went to Oxford.|
As the years go by, this bitch is getting more and more annoyed with adaptations and reboots. I really don't understand reboots that change the fundamentals of a storyline or characterization. I sincerely dislike the last 3 Harry Potter movies, but at least the basic story is the same as the books. At no point do we find a much younger Dumbledore hobnobbing with the current batch of Hogwarts students, including a young and handsome Voldemort, complete with nose.
|This is what made Dumbledore gay, and I don't blame him.|
|All of my fillings are enamel, asshole.|
Michael Fassbender made a great Magneto. I bought the rage and the anger. It wasn't until I was older that I saw Magneto as a sympathetic villain, and Fassbender really cemented that idea, moreso than even Ian McKellan. I don't even know that I would call him a villain anymore in light of the Initiative storyline. I like Magneto. X-Men: First Class might make an excellent set-up in character for the future Magneto, leader of The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. I would watch a movie about Magneto.
The second actor who I felt really brought it was:
|I mean January Jones, not her boobies.|
But back to my issues... There was just so much wrong with continuity on all levels. I feel like the writers threw a bunch of traits and ideas in a hat and randomly picked them out to cobble together a story that they could slap on the X-Men. Teenage Banshee - check. Charles Xavier and Raven Darkholm raised as siblings - check. Emma Frost's secondary mutation of diamond skin - check. And let's not forget Angel Salvadore, who really only shares a name and powers with her comic book counterpart.
|Angel and Beak get married as teenagers and have a bunch of fly/freak hybrid children. They live behind the X-Mansion in an X-Trailor.|
I guess I feel like movie adaptations are becoming fanfic for people with lots of money. If someone were to write the story of X-Men: First Class for some fanfic forum, no one would ever look twice at it and most of us (me) would deride it without even having to look. But rich folks with cameras can bring the same story to the big screen and we all pay $8 and up to see it. I loathe fanfic. I wonder how this movie was pitched.
"Charles Xavier is a really groovy and smart mutant who uses his power to pick up chicks. He has hair, even. He meets up with a really angry mutant who uses his powers to go after Sebastian Shaw's wicked sideburns. They start a school of other famous mutants retconned into teenagers (but not from the original comic books) and hijinx ensue. Oh yeah, and Emma Frost's boobs, too."
|Okay, Kevin Bacon's sideburns get an honorable mention for pulling off their role as well.|
And now if you'll excuse me, my teeth hurt and James McAvoy is waiting for me in Vicodin dreamland.