Saturday, May 5, 2012

Pegasister Carey Sparkles of St. Equestria

Last night, Mr. TwoMonkeys and I finished watching season one of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. He'd seen it all before because he's a card carrying brony (but not in the creepy way - he just likes the show without shame). I've loved My Little Pony since I was way small. My earliest Pony memory comes from when I was about 4 - when My Little Pony was brand new. I was obsessed. I walked in on my mom wrapping Christmas presents and she was wrapping up Cotton Candy. I got super excited, the way a four year old would over an awesome toy, but my mom told me it was for my cousin Marilyn. I was heartbroken. I distinctly remember feeling like I had nothing left to live for. But on Christmas morning, I opened presents and there was Cotton Candy. I was all, "Mom, Santa got one for me, too!!" And of course my mom was all, "Uh, yeah. That's right." I was a dumb ass little kid.

This. This is what made my four year old self suicidal.

So, my love affair with My Little Pony is almost three decades old. I actually didn't think much about the ponies for most of my teens and 20s. But then I started dating Mr. TwoMonkeys, who is an avid collector of nostalgic action figures from the 80s and 90s (think He-Man and G.I. Joe). His philosophy is that it's never too late to have a happy childhood. That's pretty wise. So, I started collecting ponies again - what hardcore collectors refer to as the Generation 3 and Generation 3.5 models. My Generation 1 Ponies were long gone, but I happily bought about a dozen new Ponies over the course of a couple of years before Generation 4 came out.

Dafuq is dis shit?

I didn't like these new Ponies at first. They looked like fucked up, pony-bear-duck things. They had ginormous heads and stubby noses and psycho eyes. These were not the Ponies I grew up with. I didn't buy any Pony figures for a really long time. But Mr. TwoMonkeys started watching the cartoon. We're all about cartoons in this household. And he liked it. I didn't want to watch it because we didn't have the Hub and I hate watching television on my computer (I make the rare exception for Drag Race). But the new Pony images were growing on me, especially Rainbow Dash, who's the sporty, tom boy, potential lesbian pony. Also, I had a couple of Gen. 3 Rainbow Dash toys - one with an adorable scarf.


 So, I warmed up to the new Ponies. But I didn't actually watch any episodes until a few weeks ago when season 1 came on Netflix. The Ponies were cute, but I thought I'd be bored. Holy crap, no - this show was adorable and hilarious. I was hooked. The creators of these new Ponies have a great sense of humor and know that the show has to appeal to both kids and adults alike (because really, many adults in my generation are really kidults). As I said, we finished up the season last night and the whole thing just got sillier as it went on. My favorite episode is when Fluttershy tries to heal Princess Celestia's pet bird - but little does Fluttershy know that the bird is a Phoenix and is supposed to get sick and die. So she and Twilight Sparkle chase this derpy ass retarded looking chicken phoenix with an underbite all over Ponyville to Benny Hill music.

Derpy ass chicken thing.

I about shit myself with glee. Oh, and Pinky Pie has what appears to be a sociopathic baby pet alligator named Gummy. I don't know if Gummy is a sociopath, but he looks dead inside. It's awesome. And Fluttershy's pet bunny, Angel, is a complete douchebag.

Those eyes are windows to Hell.

Anyway, I really like this show, and I think not having kids allows me to like it more, because I'm allowed to make all the inappropriate commentary I want to. I'm way excited for season 2 to come on Netflix.

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